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Joke thread.

  • gasbag11 Top 10 Forum Poster Wednesday, October 1, 2014 9:25 PM Reply
    I just thought it might be nice to take a break from all the gloom and doom in the forums lately, and have a laugh or two.

    I'll start it off with an oldie.

    A guy walks into a bar with the front half of a frog sticking out of his forehead. As he gets to the bar, the bartender asks; "What the heck happened to you"? The frog replied; "I don't know. Last night it was just a pimple on my a$$".

    One more.

    A guy is walking along a beach and finds a really old oil lamp. As he wipes off the sand, a Genie appears and offers him 3 wishes, but warns him that his worst enemy will get double of what ever he wishes for.

    The man has an enemy that has bullied him since childhood and thinks long and hard about his 1st wish, then asks for 10 million dollars. The Genie says; "It's in your bank account, but your enemy has 20 million".

    The man thinks even harder and longer for his 2nd wish, then asks to have a beautiful woman attracted to him whenever he wants. The Genie says: "Fine, but your enemy will have 2 beautiful women attracted to him whenever he wants".

    With almost no hesitation, for his 3rd wish, he asks the Genie to beat him half to death. :)


    NO! I don't know why DX screwed up the site so badly.
    Ask them.
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    post edited by gasbag11 on 10/4/2014 at 8:50 PM
  • gasbag11 Top 10 Forum Poster Saturday, October 4, 2014 9:02 PM Reply
    Sheesh!

    What a bunch of party poopers. :p
    NO! I don't know why DX screwed up the site so badly.
    Ask them.
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  • gasbag11 Top 10 Forum Poster Sunday, October 5, 2014 9:42 AM Reply
    Medistar;

    If I may make a suggestion? You really should edit out those f words and substitute something a little more family friendly, like "spend the night with" or something not quite so suggestive. You never know if kids might be reading the forums.

    Btw, as for your question in that other thread, it's okay for anyone to post jokes, as long as they keep it reasonably clean.
    NO! I don't know why DX screwed up the site so badly.
    Ask them.
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  • gasbag11 Top 10 Forum Poster Monday, October 13, 2014 12:36 AM Reply
    Okay, I'll try one more.

    A man is walking along a trail in the woods and comes to a quiet, peaceful pond. As he's standing there enjoying the scene, he hears a voice say; "Pick me up". He looks around and sees no one. As he gets ready to leave, he hears it again. He looks down and sees a frog. Seeing no one else, he asks the frog; "Did you say that"? The frog said; "Yes. Pick me up and kiss me and I will turn into a beautiful woman and we can be married".

    The man thinks for a minute, then picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog says; "Wait. You have to kiss me before we can be married". The man replies; "No thanks. I've been married 6 times. I'd rather have a talking frog".
    NO! I don't know why DX screwed up the site so badly.
    Ask them.
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  • leev211 Friday, October 17, 2014 3:33 AM Reply
    Two antennas met on a roof,
    fell in love and got married.
    The Ceremony wasn't much,
    but the reception was excellent

    A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

    nothing better than a bad joke

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  • leev211 Friday, October 17, 2014 3:46 AM Reply
    A man goes to see the doctor.
    "Doctor everything hurts when I touch it"
    "hm, let me see. Touch your arm, does that hurt?"
    "yes doctor"
    "Now when you touch your knee, does that hurt as well?"
    "Ouch, yes that hurts too"
    "Now if you touch your chest, how's that?"
    "It hurts just as much doctor."
    "Just as I thought: your finger's broken."

    A man goes to the doctor for a physical. The doctor tells him, "You have to stop masturbating." The man says, "Why?" The doctor says, "Because I'm trying to give you a physical."

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    post edited by leev211 on 10/17/2014 at 3:47 AM
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